Over 75’s walking football at Heywood, 12th October 2026
Bury Squad:-
Dave Morris ( C )
Pat ( The Cat ) Fitzgerald ( GK )
Bob Daniels
Terence O’Rourke
John Wardle
Ken Buggie ( UAP )
Joe Cohen ( Salcom )
Bill Horton ( Salcom )
Managers:-
Keiran and Keith
I wasn’t present at this session for technical reasons far too complex to explain… so I won’t.
I was going to attempt a remote viewing session to see if I could tune into the excitement but Keiran just sent me the results via WhatsApp so I’ll use his notes instead.
I was shocked to learn that it was in fact raining on the day… obviously not a description normally associated with Heywood .
Despite the inclement weather Bury’s team remained clement throughout.
First game against Ribble Valley … checks notes from Keiran…” a poor side bent on disrupting the Relics from playing any football “
Oh my word controversy from the off but let’s stick with the positives
Ken made a beautiful turn and shot that by all accounts deserved to have been a goal but alas it wasn’t and the Ribble keeper dropped a few but he didn’t drop them in the correct manner from Bury’s perspective and the grand result was a goalless draw.
Bury 0 Ribble Valley 0
Second match up against Blackpool
Despite a hard press from Blackpool from the off Bury were able to hold them at bay but few opportunities presented themselves, Blackpool did get a penalty awarded due to 4 offences the nature of the offences is a mystery to all the Bury players and staff who swear blind that they weren’t running or indeed doing anything naughty or untoward at all but the referee disagreed… luckily the penalty taker had been practising trying to hit the post which he managed successfully though his teammates didn’t seem impressed.
It ended a blistering goalless draw
Bury 0 Blackpool 0
Third game up against Thameside ( is that the right spelling? Who knows ? I’ll trust Keiran’s notes but spellcheck is having a right old ding dong argument about it).
I have it on good unbiased authority that Bury dominated this game from start to finish but adopted a philosophical approach towards winning along the lines of “ do we really need to score? It’s obvious we’re the better team… let’s not bother “
Another goalless draw…a theme is developing
Bury 0 Thameside 0
Fourth game up against Rochdale
I have it on good authority that Rochdale are rather good but that reputation did not intimidate the clement Relics who went toe to toe ..untrimmed eyebrow to untrimmed eyebrow ..beer gut to beer gut ..and held their own with John Wardle controlling midfield despite being on two offences ( genuinely shocked ) he managed four shots on target but the keeper was up to the task … speaking of keepers at the other end of the pitch Pat The Cat was stopping all and sundry with disdainful swagger to achieve four yes four clean sheets… give that man a cup of tea and a hobnob
Inconceivable as it may seem it ended in a goalless draw
Bury 0 Rochdale 0
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Report by Keiren Tilly, but later customised by Kevin “Shakespeare” Bates.
Title acknowledging the literary genius by Ian McKinnon.
